Iyov and the No Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day

Iyov woke up with excitement. Today would be a fantastic day of outdoor adventures. His tractors were calling him to come scoop the driveway dirt. Right Now! He leaped out of bed and decided to find an accomplice. Beya would be up for it. She always wanted to play outside. And off they went.

Never mind that Mom was still in bed, the two ran off into the sunrise, dreaming of grasshoppers to be caught, and caterpillars to befriend.
The one sure thing to ruin a perfect morning outing is a mom to admonish the carefree spirit for being so wreckless.
"You know you are not allowed outside without permission!" she cried upon discovering their unauthorized escape. "You two will not be able to go outside today! At all!"

Spirits crushed, the two took their dose of discipline with acceptance. Except for Iyov. He stood longingly by the door, as close as possible to that place of freedom and abandon. Outside. What would he do now that his plans were ruined? A perfect day. And now he had to spend it inside? How unfair! Mom would pay for this offense, he would make sure of it.

He decided that the bathroom looked appealing. There were all kinds of fun things in the bathroom. Water, with its many fascinating qualities, would make a fine basis for experiment. An empty bottle promised hours of fun at the tap. Who cares that such endeavors meant water all over the counter and floor? If he was going to be forced inside, he didn't care what kind of destruction his actions caused!

Of course, as she always did, Mom caught him. And as she forced him to clean up the mess, he wondered, Just what does she expect me to do inside then?

Once finished, he decided to go see if any amazing kid-friendly food had shown up in the fridge overnight. Who cares if the fridge only ever has the same boring things. After all, one never knows when cookies and candy will show up just when you aren't paying attention. And besides, looking in the fridge is something to do. Maybe while he was at it, he could open some yogurt and only eat one bite just to punish mom for continually ruining his fun. That always got her riled up. Perfect.

Mom caught him before he could leave the evidence behind... again. And made him eat the whole thing even though he told her at least ten times that he didn't want it. He hissed at her and then yelled, "I don't like you, mom!"
Mom sent him to his room.

On his way there, he noticed mom's pink spray bottle that she uses to spray on Beya's hair to detangle it. He doesn't know what Mom keeps in there, but spraying water is great fun! Another perfect bathroom activity! So under the guise of going to his room, he snatched it up, and spent his "time out in his room" time playing with that fantastic invention: the spray bottle.
And why not dump the bottle out and experience the joy of filling it up himself? Score!

He managed to not get caught by mom this time. He really fooled her into thinking he was spending his time dutifully in his room. So he decided to be a bit more daring after re-emerging from his room. So he got his Legos out and dumped the entire contents on the living room floor. Legos are for dumping. That's what he thinks anyway.

Mom found him. Again. And she told him to clean them up. So he yelled at her. He was not going to clean up that mess! Doesn't mom know how many Legos that is? It will take him at least five minutes.

He had much better things to do. Like instigate fights with Novan and Beya. He knows they like it. Even when they yell at him to stop over and over and over and over. Who wouldn't want to play fight with him? Who cares if Beya was busy coloring a picture?

Novan and Beya screamed too much though. And mom found him. His legos still weren't picked up. Why not? He thought Legos picked themselves up if you leave them long enough. And Beya and Novan acted so unreasonable about being wrestled with. Mom promptly smacked his bottom and stood there while he picked up every last Lego. He was wrong about the time though. It actually took more like ten minutes. He forgot about the extra time he had to spend whining all through the job. Everyone knows you can't get anything done without whining about it.

"I can't take this anymore!" Mom declared. "Go to your room and stay there so I don't strangle you!"
"You're making me mad!" Iyov yelled back.
But he complied because mom is bigger, and she looked really angry.
But the bathroom distracted him again on the way. He forgot about the soap dispenser in there that is great fun to play with. So on the way to his room, he stopped and emptied it, foolishly leaving the evidence in the sink.

This time, while in his room, sans Legos to dump, Iyov spotted Squeaky, the Guinea Pig. Mom never lets Iyov hold him because he picked him up by his legs once. Now would be the perfect opportunity. Except he couldn't get the cage door open. So he opted for pulling the entire cage off the dresser and onto the floor.

Guinea pig litter, hay, poop, and food pellets crashed to the ground, all over everything. Iyov wondered if mom heard... his door was closed, so maybe not. He couldn't see Squeaky anywhere. Maybe he escaped. He'll be in real trouble when she sees this. But she's not here now...
Well, all that naughtiness was exhausting. Time for a nap. And as he fell asleep, Iyov thought what a terrible day it had been. Mom didn't let him have any fun.
But yet Iyov realized he may have actually accomplished what he set out to do: make mom regret keeping him from playing outside. I bet she won't do that again, he thought as he drifted into peaceful slumber.

*Photos depict only reenactments of actual events that occurred. Photographer was too angry and horrified to photograph events as they happened.
*All children depicted herein were played by themselves.
*All events occurred in the same day, between the hours of 7 AM and 1 PM
*Note, no animals were harmed in either actual or reenacted events. Squeaky was found later, unharmed, under a pile of bedding.