My Lovely Lovely Girl
I know, I seem to talk constantly on here about how faaabulous Beya is. Sometimes I get all mommy blog on this thing but I just have to share because she's just so cool.
Beya is a gracious host and a self-sacrificing friend. I'm actually kind of grateful to get back to my Beya-love-fest because of late she has been kind of a monster with her almost-5-year-old mood swings and dramatic outbursts.
So yesterday her friend Talli came over for the day and as soon as Talli got here Beya just went along with whatever Talli wanted to do. Talli wanted to play dress-up. I happen to know which dress is Beya's favorite but when they came out, Talli was wearing Beya's favorite and Beya had selected a different dress for herself. Talli wanted to play memory. Beya set up the game and when Talli promptly decided after only two turns that the game wasn't so fun, Beya picked up all the cards and put them back without complaint. When Talli wanted to build forts, Beya graciously put together the most extravagant fort she could muster while Talli sat under it. Then, once the fort was erected Talli wanted to play momma bird and baby bird but Beya wanted to be cats instead. Talli insisted and Beya conceded, even to the point that she was the momma bird even though I know she prefers to play the baby. Then, when they decided to play angry birds game (it has actual blocks that you knock down with and actual launcher) Talli's pig tower kept falling and she told Beya to fix it. Beya did. And she was happy to do it.
So I get that this is starting to sound like Talli is just bossy and Beya is a golden retriever BUT eventually after all the initial bossing around, Talli chilled out on the bossing and the girls got along beautifully. I really think that this is because Beya invested emotionally. She sacrificed a bit to show that she wasn't going to try to determine how everything would go. I know that's a bit deep for a 5-year old but I think Beya is just instinctively mindful of others' feelings. If you know 5 year-olds, they can get into the power struggle with each other and it can easily escalate to the point where everyone is upset because no one is willing to compromise. I think that if Beya had stood up against Talli more, this may have happened. Talli, it seems, was just testing the boundaries when she first got here. It's to be expected from little kids I think.
Talli went home later and that afternoon Beya came in for dinner in tears because one of the other girls, Joey, had thrown dirt at her dress and tried to poke her with a stick (I know, totally mean) because Beya was trying to play with them and Joey (who always seems to be the instigator in these tiffs) was purposely trying to exclude her, and to get her to go away, threw dirt at her. It was a little surprising because in my observations, Beya is usually the favorite among the girls and she seems to get along fine and is pretty much never excluded. Usually it's either Amelia trying to exclude Joey or Joey trying to exclude Amelia.
Beya told me later that Novan had stepped in and hugged her and helped her get the dirt off her dress (which is really my favorite part of this story). I gave Joey a talk, (who denied throwing dirt OR poking with sticks, and for the record Joey has also thrown rocks at Novan so relentlessly that he's come running and screaming banging at the door to get away from her. I have NEVER seen Novan scared of another kid like that.), about how if she continued to be mean, neither Beya nor anyone else she's mean to was going to WANT to play with her anymore, and then what would she do? I did this from my door while Beya was in the kitchen and when I came back inside, Beya hugged me in tears saying "Thank-you for talking to Joey mom."
After that, all was forgiven and the girls played together once more with no problems. Joey even wanted Beya to come over to her house and so on.
Then that night, after the boys were in bed and I sat in Beya's room nursing Keshet, we were talking about her day with Talli and how she wants Talli to come over for a sleep-over and so on. She was brushing the hair of her My Little Pony Princess Celestia pony and she informed me that she forgot to tell Joey's mom to buy Joey a Princess Celestia so each of the girls could have one and she doesn't have to let Joey use hers. (Apparently Amelia the other girl has one too). I asked her if Joey makes Beya give hers to her and Beya said, "No I let her use mine because she doesn't have one."
Are you getting all warm and fuzzy? I am. I told you Beya was beautiful inside and out, didn't I?
Beya is a gracious host and a self-sacrificing friend. I'm actually kind of grateful to get back to my Beya-love-fest because of late she has been kind of a monster with her almost-5-year-old mood swings and dramatic outbursts.
So yesterday her friend Talli came over for the day and as soon as Talli got here Beya just went along with whatever Talli wanted to do. Talli wanted to play dress-up. I happen to know which dress is Beya's favorite but when they came out, Talli was wearing Beya's favorite and Beya had selected a different dress for herself. Talli wanted to play memory. Beya set up the game and when Talli promptly decided after only two turns that the game wasn't so fun, Beya picked up all the cards and put them back without complaint. When Talli wanted to build forts, Beya graciously put together the most extravagant fort she could muster while Talli sat under it. Then, once the fort was erected Talli wanted to play momma bird and baby bird but Beya wanted to be cats instead. Talli insisted and Beya conceded, even to the point that she was the momma bird even though I know she prefers to play the baby. Then, when they decided to play angry birds game (it has actual blocks that you knock down with and actual launcher) Talli's pig tower kept falling and she told Beya to fix it. Beya did. And she was happy to do it.
So I get that this is starting to sound like Talli is just bossy and Beya is a golden retriever BUT eventually after all the initial bossing around, Talli chilled out on the bossing and the girls got along beautifully. I really think that this is because Beya invested emotionally. She sacrificed a bit to show that she wasn't going to try to determine how everything would go. I know that's a bit deep for a 5-year old but I think Beya is just instinctively mindful of others' feelings. If you know 5 year-olds, they can get into the power struggle with each other and it can easily escalate to the point where everyone is upset because no one is willing to compromise. I think that if Beya had stood up against Talli more, this may have happened. Talli, it seems, was just testing the boundaries when she first got here. It's to be expected from little kids I think.
Talli went home later and that afternoon Beya came in for dinner in tears because one of the other girls, Joey, had thrown dirt at her dress and tried to poke her with a stick (I know, totally mean) because Beya was trying to play with them and Joey (who always seems to be the instigator in these tiffs) was purposely trying to exclude her, and to get her to go away, threw dirt at her. It was a little surprising because in my observations, Beya is usually the favorite among the girls and she seems to get along fine and is pretty much never excluded. Usually it's either Amelia trying to exclude Joey or Joey trying to exclude Amelia.
Beya told me later that Novan had stepped in and hugged her and helped her get the dirt off her dress (which is really my favorite part of this story). I gave Joey a talk, (who denied throwing dirt OR poking with sticks, and for the record Joey has also thrown rocks at Novan so relentlessly that he's come running and screaming banging at the door to get away from her. I have NEVER seen Novan scared of another kid like that.), about how if she continued to be mean, neither Beya nor anyone else she's mean to was going to WANT to play with her anymore, and then what would she do? I did this from my door while Beya was in the kitchen and when I came back inside, Beya hugged me in tears saying "Thank-you for talking to Joey mom."
After that, all was forgiven and the girls played together once more with no problems. Joey even wanted Beya to come over to her house and so on.
Then that night, after the boys were in bed and I sat in Beya's room nursing Keshet, we were talking about her day with Talli and how she wants Talli to come over for a sleep-over and so on. She was brushing the hair of her My Little Pony Princess Celestia pony and she informed me that she forgot to tell Joey's mom to buy Joey a Princess Celestia so each of the girls could have one and she doesn't have to let Joey use hers. (Apparently Amelia the other girl has one too). I asked her if Joey makes Beya give hers to her and Beya said, "No I let her use mine because she doesn't have one."
Are you getting all warm and fuzzy? I am. I told you Beya was beautiful inside and out, didn't I?
Pretty girl. Looks like her mom. And she's veeery sweet!
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