Tampon Expedition
The heaviness of the air in my life is so thick you could bite through it, so I am going to try something a little lighter today because I need a break from heartbreak. However, before I do, I realize some of you probably are like "Whaaaat?" and you're trying to guess at who I referred to, so while I won't say WHO it's about, I will say who it's NOT about. It's not about Brad or any of my kids. However, that doesn't make it any less at the forefront of my mind and the anguish is still very real so please send a prayer up for me and my family. We really need it.
So, moving on. Last night I made this for dinner:
It's one of my favorite things and it's very simple. Every single time I make it I think to myself, "Geez this is such a mouthful of healthy goodness, I could eat this every day! WHY do I not make this more often?"
The ingredients are as follows:
bunch of curly parsley chopped finely
diced tomatoes
can of chickpeas
diced cucumber
diced onion (either red onion or scallions)
lemon juice
salt and pepper
I really love the simplicity of lemon juice, salt, and pepper as a dressing. The parsley makes it pop. I love parsley and it is incredibly good for you so you should make it part of your green veggie repertoire.
Sometimes I make flatbread and/or falafel and/or tzatziki sauce (Brad prefers to have it with all 3) but I prefer it a la carte.
And finally, I had some funny thoughts about feminine hygiene products recently that I thought you might find humorous.
I have 4 children which I've borne in the last almost 8 years and as a result of my children being breastfed and having them so close together, I can count on two hands the number of periods I've had in the last 7 years. Every time I get my period once the latest kidlet ceases to nurse constantly, I am reminded of how much of a blessing it is to NOT endure the monthly irritation of menses.
So I get my period for the first time since Keshet was born last week, and I go to Wal-mart because all I have on hand are giant pillow-sized pads from postpartum bleeding.
I arrive there and I'm standing in the aisle searching the colorful rows of plastic packages and wondering where in the heck the tampons are. Did they stop making them or something? I'm scouring the shelves for the characteristic box shapes, and then it hits me, "OH, I'm standing in the incontinence section..." A swift look to my right and left reveals that no one has spotted me confusing maxi pads with adult diapers.
Phew!
I scoot discreetly away, cheeks slightly reddened with embarrassment over being a 29 year-old woman who doesn't even knowing where the tampons reside.
Unfortunately it takes me a full 5 minutes of going UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN the aisles trying to find those pesky tampons. I mean, where the heck do they keep those things?
I find them, FINALLY, and understand why they've now been moved away from the family planning section. The industry has grown so much that they now require their own aisle.
I don't recognize anything on the aisle itself.
There is not a single box or package that looks familiar.
And I'm not sure if I like the imagery of a string of pearls to go along with my tampons or whether metrosexual purple on black is really the color I want to associate with monthly bleeding.
Overwhelmed, I try to at least consolidate what is and is not a tampon box, but the kaleidoscope of color disorients me.
Yeah you think I'm joking, but it's true.
I start to get upset, because all I want is a package of super plus tampax tampons like I'm used to, except it's been about 2 years since I bought some, so I don't know what the package looks like anymore and there's so many options and colors that I just don't know what I want anymore!
I angrily snatch the first box I find with "Tampax" as the brand and "Super absorbancy," even though I really don't like that string of pearls picture. The visual unnerves me.
Then I proceed to find some kind of more modest pad except none of those packages are recognizable anymore. Furthermore, wings appear to have taken over. I thought wings were an option, not a requirement. The "man" is now forcing me to have wings on my pads even though I hate those things.
Once home, I open my tampons and discover that the applicator is PURPLE and slightly iridescent.
What the ?
Is that scientifically proven necessary or even beneficial in some way?
AND, because their color carnival confusion marketing tactic made me pick up the first vaguely recognizable tampon box, instead of having the extra large box of tampons I intended, I'm now the proud owner of a trendy tampon carrying case which is a bonus gift that only cost me an extra $3.
I think it's time I get pregnant again.
So, moving on. Last night I made this for dinner:
It's one of my favorite things and it's very simple. Every single time I make it I think to myself, "Geez this is such a mouthful of healthy goodness, I could eat this every day! WHY do I not make this more often?"
The ingredients are as follows:
bunch of curly parsley chopped finely
diced tomatoes
can of chickpeas
diced cucumber
diced onion (either red onion or scallions)
lemon juice
salt and pepper
I really love the simplicity of lemon juice, salt, and pepper as a dressing. The parsley makes it pop. I love parsley and it is incredibly good for you so you should make it part of your green veggie repertoire.
Sometimes I make flatbread and/or falafel and/or tzatziki sauce (Brad prefers to have it with all 3) but I prefer it a la carte.
And finally, I had some funny thoughts about feminine hygiene products recently that I thought you might find humorous.
I have 4 children which I've borne in the last almost 8 years and as a result of my children being breastfed and having them so close together, I can count on two hands the number of periods I've had in the last 7 years. Every time I get my period once the latest kidlet ceases to nurse constantly, I am reminded of how much of a blessing it is to NOT endure the monthly irritation of menses.
So I get my period for the first time since Keshet was born last week, and I go to Wal-mart because all I have on hand are giant pillow-sized pads from postpartum bleeding.
I arrive there and I'm standing in the aisle searching the colorful rows of plastic packages and wondering where in the heck the tampons are. Did they stop making them or something? I'm scouring the shelves for the characteristic box shapes, and then it hits me, "OH, I'm standing in the incontinence section..." A swift look to my right and left reveals that no one has spotted me confusing maxi pads with adult diapers.
Phew!
I scoot discreetly away, cheeks slightly reddened with embarrassment over being a 29 year-old woman who doesn't even knowing where the tampons reside.
Unfortunately it takes me a full 5 minutes of going UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN the aisles trying to find those pesky tampons. I mean, where the heck do they keep those things?
I find them, FINALLY, and understand why they've now been moved away from the family planning section. The industry has grown so much that they now require their own aisle.
I don't recognize anything on the aisle itself.
There is not a single box or package that looks familiar.
And I'm not sure if I like the imagery of a string of pearls to go along with my tampons or whether metrosexual purple on black is really the color I want to associate with monthly bleeding.
Overwhelmed, I try to at least consolidate what is and is not a tampon box, but the kaleidoscope of color disorients me.
Yeah you think I'm joking, but it's true.
I start to get upset, because all I want is a package of super plus tampax tampons like I'm used to, except it's been about 2 years since I bought some, so I don't know what the package looks like anymore and there's so many options and colors that I just don't know what I want anymore!
I angrily snatch the first box I find with "Tampax" as the brand and "Super absorbancy," even though I really don't like that string of pearls picture. The visual unnerves me.
Then I proceed to find some kind of more modest pad except none of those packages are recognizable anymore. Furthermore, wings appear to have taken over. I thought wings were an option, not a requirement. The "man" is now forcing me to have wings on my pads even though I hate those things.
Once home, I open my tampons and discover that the applicator is PURPLE and slightly iridescent.
What the ?
Is that scientifically proven necessary or even beneficial in some way?
AND, because their color carnival confusion marketing tactic made me pick up the first vaguely recognizable tampon box, instead of having the extra large box of tampons I intended, I'm now the proud owner of a trendy tampon carrying case which is a bonus gift that only cost me an extra $3.
I think it's time I get pregnant again.
Comments
Post a Comment