Where, oh where has that blogger been?
On an ordinary day in April of this year I said an earnest prayer to my Heavenly Father to help me to discover my talents. I felt like I had many interests, many passions, lots of things I wanted to learn more about. I love school, love learning. I think being a student is one of the greatest joys in life. But of talents I felt like I had few, and nothing that gave me any get up and go. I can sew, I can read, I'm decently smart, I like to garden, I like to cook. Perhaps, I thought, maybe I need to ask for motivation to find a way to share my interests with the world in a unique way. But I was feeling shafted on the talent scale, like I was doing what I could with what I had, and I wasn't finding any increase.
Then it was June and I had finished reading a book. Actually, I had finished reading a lot of books. Reading is often like that. I take sabbaticals from reading most of the time because if I don't, I never get anything done. Anyway, the last book I read was a fascinating concept but a poorly executed plot, a terrible use of prose, and too little dialogue. I started thinking of all the ways that it could have been improved and then I started thinking of good books I'd read that were actually good. You know, the ones you don't want to put down, the ones that make you think about life, about your reality, and that push your mind to extremes, making you ask questions, considering things you have never considered before. And then I was struck with a feeling "I can do that. Really, I think I could. How hard could it be? I had lots of truths I wanted to tell the world. What better way to tell them than in a story?
I spent all the next day trying to figure out a concept I could work with but everything seemed done already. I thought of ideas that at first I thought were original but upon further thought seemed like something I had already read or watched. Being weak in confidence I chastised myself for thinking I could come up with an original idea on my own. Despite my feeling of weakness I was still confident so I said another prayer. This time I asked that if God thought I could write a book, such as I was, that He would give me an idea, something to go on. Maybe, I thought, He could send me a dream. My dreams have always been bizarre contradictions and sometimes had me waking up and wondering "Where the heck did that come from?" What better source of inspiration, I thought. So I went to sleep, confident that an idea would come. And so it did.
That idea was a concept with no plot or philosophical basis, just an idea, the barest of inklings.
It is hard for me to describe exactly how the plot or idea came about, how the characters developed, how the little nuances of the story came to life. Every time I sat down to brainstorm and write out ideas for the plot, they came like I had turned on the creative water hose in my brain. I stayed up late at night just writing my ideas, thinking of better ways and little by little vagueness became more specific. And even before I had completed the plot, or even a theme I began to write. Every day was a revelation. Characters took on a life of their own and every time I sat down to write I was excited to find out what would happen because I had no idea what would happen. I tell you, it is many times better than actually reading a good book. Every day a character would say or do something that surprised me and I thought "Where in the world did that come from?" but it was always perfect, fit right in with the story, sometimes in ways that I didn't even realize until later.
I have never felt so alive, so capable, so confident in myself as a spirit daughter of God. I have thanked Him every day for the joy I have discovered in writing. Because through my story, fictional as it is, I have found a way to share my testimony in a way that I feel is beautiful and unique. Writing has become like a daily bearing of testimony. I have learned more about Him, communed more with Him, and never thanked Him more than I have in these past weeks.
How true is the Psalm that says "And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." He has given me increase beyond what I thought possible, beyond what I thought I could comprehend and so, my friends, that is where I have been. Writing my heart out elsewhere. I have finished the first of what I believe will be a trilogy and am 3/4 of the way through the second. Well, at least I think right now it will be a trilogy. Who knows though, things in the story change so drastically from day to day and when I think I have told a good story I am impressed with an even better one, one that builds beautifully on the one I have already written so there has been little plot change from the very beginning.
So, my friends, I suppose I can now add "writer" to my profile description, yes? So cheerio for now readers, my head is practically bursting with words for my next chapter. More to come, I promise.
Then it was June and I had finished reading a book. Actually, I had finished reading a lot of books. Reading is often like that. I take sabbaticals from reading most of the time because if I don't, I never get anything done. Anyway, the last book I read was a fascinating concept but a poorly executed plot, a terrible use of prose, and too little dialogue. I started thinking of all the ways that it could have been improved and then I started thinking of good books I'd read that were actually good. You know, the ones you don't want to put down, the ones that make you think about life, about your reality, and that push your mind to extremes, making you ask questions, considering things you have never considered before. And then I was struck with a feeling "I can do that. Really, I think I could. How hard could it be? I had lots of truths I wanted to tell the world. What better way to tell them than in a story?
I spent all the next day trying to figure out a concept I could work with but everything seemed done already. I thought of ideas that at first I thought were original but upon further thought seemed like something I had already read or watched. Being weak in confidence I chastised myself for thinking I could come up with an original idea on my own. Despite my feeling of weakness I was still confident so I said another prayer. This time I asked that if God thought I could write a book, such as I was, that He would give me an idea, something to go on. Maybe, I thought, He could send me a dream. My dreams have always been bizarre contradictions and sometimes had me waking up and wondering "Where the heck did that come from?" What better source of inspiration, I thought. So I went to sleep, confident that an idea would come. And so it did.
That idea was a concept with no plot or philosophical basis, just an idea, the barest of inklings.
It is hard for me to describe exactly how the plot or idea came about, how the characters developed, how the little nuances of the story came to life. Every time I sat down to brainstorm and write out ideas for the plot, they came like I had turned on the creative water hose in my brain. I stayed up late at night just writing my ideas, thinking of better ways and little by little vagueness became more specific. And even before I had completed the plot, or even a theme I began to write. Every day was a revelation. Characters took on a life of their own and every time I sat down to write I was excited to find out what would happen because I had no idea what would happen. I tell you, it is many times better than actually reading a good book. Every day a character would say or do something that surprised me and I thought "Where in the world did that come from?" but it was always perfect, fit right in with the story, sometimes in ways that I didn't even realize until later.
I have never felt so alive, so capable, so confident in myself as a spirit daughter of God. I have thanked Him every day for the joy I have discovered in writing. Because through my story, fictional as it is, I have found a way to share my testimony in a way that I feel is beautiful and unique. Writing has become like a daily bearing of testimony. I have learned more about Him, communed more with Him, and never thanked Him more than I have in these past weeks.
How true is the Psalm that says "And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." He has given me increase beyond what I thought possible, beyond what I thought I could comprehend and so, my friends, that is where I have been. Writing my heart out elsewhere. I have finished the first of what I believe will be a trilogy and am 3/4 of the way through the second. Well, at least I think right now it will be a trilogy. Who knows though, things in the story change so drastically from day to day and when I think I have told a good story I am impressed with an even better one, one that builds beautifully on the one I have already written so there has been little plot change from the very beginning.
So, my friends, I suppose I can now add "writer" to my profile description, yes? So cheerio for now readers, my head is practically bursting with words for my next chapter. More to come, I promise.
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