Some things I look Forward to
Labor. As strange as that may sound, I love going into labor. I love most of being in labor. Transition is pretty rough but it's so short that it's hard to remember sometimes, and when you are in it, you know it's almost over. The whole laboring period before transition is pretty easy I think. It's painful at times but it's not an unbearable kind of pain and I like that there's purpose to it and it has a beginning and an end. It's exciting though and I really love the contractions where you actually FEEL dilation, and the pressure of the baby's head moving lower is quite invigorating. With every contraction I love knowing that I am closer to pushing which is my favorite part of birthing.
Pushing is the part where I am in the most control and the part that I would never in a million years drug myself to get through. It's when you finally get a break from the pain and when you can actually DO something. I can understand transition and why people would wish to avoid it but I guess I feel like I would miss out on the best part. Plus, it's so short compared to labor as a whole! All of the passive enduring that you do the whole time beforehand builds up a lot of energy and when I finally get to push, I have to control myself from doing it too fast. I fathom that I could easily do it in one push but I would probably pay for that one afterwards. I guess all that's why I don't birth with drugs. I would dislike immensely not being in complete control of that part.
The next hour after the birth. I look forward to this even more than pushing. Once the pushing is over and baby is plopped right on my chest, there's a helpless awe I feel for the next hour. I always have a hard time remembering pushing the placenta out, who's checking out my body parts, when I moved into a chair, when the cord was cut, how many blankets are on me, whether I'm naked or clothed, whether I'm thirsty or hot. All I see is this new person I've grown and birthed. I meet the soul I've grown to love over the previous months and fall in love even harder than before. It's like gravity and I am helpless to stop it.
Some things I DON'T look forward to:
After birth contractions. Why on earth you aren't offered an epidural AFTER the baby comes out is beyond me. To me, that's the most painful part of the whole thing and I would be hard pressed to refuse drugs at that point. In fact, I pretty much DON'T refuse drugs then. In my last hospital birth with Beya, I would count down the hours before I could get another Tylenol with codeine. After birth contractions are the WORST. Someone knock me out and don't wake me up til it's over, PLEASE! Unfortunately, with a homebirth, you'd probably get a whooping by the midwife for taking any drug other than plain old Tylenol. Yeah.... like THAT stuff works. EVERY time I have to nurse that baby for the next day and a half or so, WHAMMO, contractions that make me wish I could shove the epidural needle in myself. And it only gets worse with each successive child.
No Sleep. Oh baby, why do you come out with days and nights mixed up? I think I should get a job on a graveyard shift so I can adjust beforehand.
Painful Nursing. Oh God, why did you design women to only produce weeeeee amounts of colostrum for days resulting in practically endless and painful nursing until the milk supply comes in? Furthermore, shouldn't my nipples be made of sturdier stuff so they don't want to bleed and fall right off? Lucky you if you have nipples of steel. I do not. In the first week I cling desperately to my beliefs on why breastfeeding is better...... It IS better right?...... Oh please, let it be better. Let not this torture be in vain!
When I think about labor and delivery vs. the first days, I am hard pressed to understand why LABOR is considered the worst pain women endure. Contractions in labor are a joke compared to what is to come. So combine excessively tired with almost constant pain in my uterus and my poor nipples and I'm a mess. Again, why is there no epidural for THAT may I ask?
And so I look forward to birthing with both excitement and dread. Thank goodness it really is all worth it in the end.
Pushing is the part where I am in the most control and the part that I would never in a million years drug myself to get through. It's when you finally get a break from the pain and when you can actually DO something. I can understand transition and why people would wish to avoid it but I guess I feel like I would miss out on the best part. Plus, it's so short compared to labor as a whole! All of the passive enduring that you do the whole time beforehand builds up a lot of energy and when I finally get to push, I have to control myself from doing it too fast. I fathom that I could easily do it in one push but I would probably pay for that one afterwards. I guess all that's why I don't birth with drugs. I would dislike immensely not being in complete control of that part.
The next hour after the birth. I look forward to this even more than pushing. Once the pushing is over and baby is plopped right on my chest, there's a helpless awe I feel for the next hour. I always have a hard time remembering pushing the placenta out, who's checking out my body parts, when I moved into a chair, when the cord was cut, how many blankets are on me, whether I'm naked or clothed, whether I'm thirsty or hot. All I see is this new person I've grown and birthed. I meet the soul I've grown to love over the previous months and fall in love even harder than before. It's like gravity and I am helpless to stop it.
Some things I DON'T look forward to:
After birth contractions. Why on earth you aren't offered an epidural AFTER the baby comes out is beyond me. To me, that's the most painful part of the whole thing and I would be hard pressed to refuse drugs at that point. In fact, I pretty much DON'T refuse drugs then. In my last hospital birth with Beya, I would count down the hours before I could get another Tylenol with codeine. After birth contractions are the WORST. Someone knock me out and don't wake me up til it's over, PLEASE! Unfortunately, with a homebirth, you'd probably get a whooping by the midwife for taking any drug other than plain old Tylenol. Yeah.... like THAT stuff works. EVERY time I have to nurse that baby for the next day and a half or so, WHAMMO, contractions that make me wish I could shove the epidural needle in myself. And it only gets worse with each successive child.
No Sleep. Oh baby, why do you come out with days and nights mixed up? I think I should get a job on a graveyard shift so I can adjust beforehand.
Painful Nursing. Oh God, why did you design women to only produce weeeeee amounts of colostrum for days resulting in practically endless and painful nursing until the milk supply comes in? Furthermore, shouldn't my nipples be made of sturdier stuff so they don't want to bleed and fall right off? Lucky you if you have nipples of steel. I do not. In the first week I cling desperately to my beliefs on why breastfeeding is better...... It IS better right?...... Oh please, let it be better. Let not this torture be in vain!
When I think about labor and delivery vs. the first days, I am hard pressed to understand why LABOR is considered the worst pain women endure. Contractions in labor are a joke compared to what is to come. So combine excessively tired with almost constant pain in my uterus and my poor nipples and I'm a mess. Again, why is there no epidural for THAT may I ask?
And so I look forward to birthing with both excitement and dread. Thank goodness it really is all worth it in the end.
Rachel, I truly love your posts on babies more than almost anything. You are so honest, and I feel like I have a little better look into the whole pregnancy thing. I miss you tons and wish I could be there to see this sweet little baby. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Labor is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks :)
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