Happiness is a Choice
So lately (as in the last couple months) because of our current financial situation I have been quite an emotional roller coaster. We have finally run out of our cash reserves with the exception of our retirement accounts which I sincerely hope to not have to touch. This has made our situation somewhat dire as we have to depend on Brad's unpredictable income to pay our bills every month. Each month we somehow seem to squeak by with I am sure lots of help from our Heavenly Father.
We have been here before, in a new market of prospective clients trying to build Brad's reputation as an investment advisor. When Brad started this business in California we went through the same thing. It was a long hard 2 years of cutting our spending, prayer, and supplication, doing without and looking forward to the time when Brad would finally be the "go-to-guy" for financial services. We did see that year finally in 2007 and the 6 figure income did much to boost our confidence and pay off the debts we had accumulated while living on little to nothing. We also managed to save up the down payment that we used to buy the house we now own. We then made the decision to move back to NC to be closer to family and to be in a less expensive area. We managed to buy a house and then the economic crisis hit. Brad's client accounts were hit pretty hard and in consequence, our income. As people became more and more terrified of the market it became harder and harder to find new clients. And so, with our move here we have faced the dregs of financial stress and strain more than anyone realizes.
I don't write this to stress anyone else out or entice pity but to give you an idea of my mental state these past few months. I think it is safe to say that I have mired in my own self-pity. I have been difficult, anti-social, and probably pretty obnoxious to Brad who struggles to make money so that we can live a self-sufficient life.
Yesterday, the lesson in relief society was given by the Stake Relief Society president Sister Bills and I am sure that Heavenly Father was thinking of me when he inspired her to give us this lesson which focused on the idea of happiness and how it is a choice, not a state of mind that we have no control over. I remembered the chapter in Alma in which he glories in God over the conversion of so many of the Lamanites. Every time I read that chapter I can't help but experience a small measure of the joy that he must have had. Alma 21:27 says "Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness." I think the key words here are 'humble seeker' because happiness isn't just something that we can turn on and off in our mind but a result of our actions and if we are "humble seekers" we can take steps in our lives that will result in happiness such as service, prayer, listening to and doing uplifting things, and working to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I realized that I had ceased to do some of the things that had carried me through the previous months of financial strain. One simple thing that always made me happy was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I haven't done that in months, actually I haven't listened to much of anything in the last couple months and I certainly haven't encouraged the Spirit into my life by all of my negative thoughts. I still was reading my scriptures but I had failed to prepare myself to recieve inspiration and to feel the spirit. I am sure I felt despair and simply didn't have faith that something as simple as listening to good music would lift my mood. I didn't give Heavenly Father any credit for having given us more than enough tools to achieve happiness. I relished in my own sad state and should have spent that energy doing things that would have made me happy.
So I am so thankful for the Church that I get to attend every week and thankful for Sister Bills for living by the Spirit so that she could impart a message that I so desparately needed to hear. So from now on I am going to be doing the things that will bring me happiness because happiness is a choice.
We have been here before, in a new market of prospective clients trying to build Brad's reputation as an investment advisor. When Brad started this business in California we went through the same thing. It was a long hard 2 years of cutting our spending, prayer, and supplication, doing without and looking forward to the time when Brad would finally be the "go-to-guy" for financial services. We did see that year finally in 2007 and the 6 figure income did much to boost our confidence and pay off the debts we had accumulated while living on little to nothing. We also managed to save up the down payment that we used to buy the house we now own. We then made the decision to move back to NC to be closer to family and to be in a less expensive area. We managed to buy a house and then the economic crisis hit. Brad's client accounts were hit pretty hard and in consequence, our income. As people became more and more terrified of the market it became harder and harder to find new clients. And so, with our move here we have faced the dregs of financial stress and strain more than anyone realizes.
I don't write this to stress anyone else out or entice pity but to give you an idea of my mental state these past few months. I think it is safe to say that I have mired in my own self-pity. I have been difficult, anti-social, and probably pretty obnoxious to Brad who struggles to make money so that we can live a self-sufficient life.
Yesterday, the lesson in relief society was given by the Stake Relief Society president Sister Bills and I am sure that Heavenly Father was thinking of me when he inspired her to give us this lesson which focused on the idea of happiness and how it is a choice, not a state of mind that we have no control over. I remembered the chapter in Alma in which he glories in God over the conversion of so many of the Lamanites. Every time I read that chapter I can't help but experience a small measure of the joy that he must have had. Alma 21:27 says "Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness." I think the key words here are 'humble seeker' because happiness isn't just something that we can turn on and off in our mind but a result of our actions and if we are "humble seekers" we can take steps in our lives that will result in happiness such as service, prayer, listening to and doing uplifting things, and working to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I realized that I had ceased to do some of the things that had carried me through the previous months of financial strain. One simple thing that always made me happy was listening to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I haven't done that in months, actually I haven't listened to much of anything in the last couple months and I certainly haven't encouraged the Spirit into my life by all of my negative thoughts. I still was reading my scriptures but I had failed to prepare myself to recieve inspiration and to feel the spirit. I am sure I felt despair and simply didn't have faith that something as simple as listening to good music would lift my mood. I didn't give Heavenly Father any credit for having given us more than enough tools to achieve happiness. I relished in my own sad state and should have spent that energy doing things that would have made me happy.
So I am so thankful for the Church that I get to attend every week and thankful for Sister Bills for living by the Spirit so that she could impart a message that I so desparately needed to hear. So from now on I am going to be doing the things that will bring me happiness because happiness is a choice.
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