Marriage: The Refiner's Fire
I can still remember meeting Brad for the first time in college and how amazed I was by him. That amazement still continues today. When I met him I thought almost immediately that he was going to do something really great. I just got that feeling and today I still think that. He is the most driven person I know. In psychology they talk about the personality characteristic of high motivation. They say that only 1% of the population actually has this characteristic and I would totally buy that. Most of us are procrastinators. We wait until the last minute, we hate the effort it takes to get started on something. A lot of the time we do the bare minimum to get the job done in a satisfactory fashion. Brad is like an energizer bunny that is in your face constantly. He is always looking for the next task and always getting things done way ahead of time.
In some ways his drive is absolutely wonderful and as many of you can probably attest, it can also be a huge pain in the rear, exasperating, and downright obnoxious. Trying to align myself to someone who is so beyond my level of functioning is seemingly impossible at times. We are so different. We reason differently so when we have a disagreement about something it takes quite a while for us to "meet in the middle" because we are just trying to understand each other's reasoning. Brad functions in his own sphere and it's like pulling teeth to get him to see things from my point of view because to him everything has to be logical. However, I have come to understand and respect the idea that not all logic is created equal and just because it makes perfect logical sense in my head does not mean it does in someone else's. Brad would not agree with that statement but nevertheless I stand by it, and I hope to live by it.
My marriage is freaking hard work. That is no lie; BUT and there is a huge BUT =) I have an appreciation that knows no bounds for Brad and for the differences that we have that seem insurmountable at times. They are not insurmountable though. In the 7+ years that we have been married we have climbed mountains and there is a companionship here that I want never to be parted from. Marriage is certainly not about being in love or simply "living together". If you want the most out of it, it is about growing together and it is the sweat and tears that plunge us into the refiner's fire so that we can emerge steadfast and immovable in our committment to our spouse and to our God most of all. In short, were it not for that obnoxiously driven fanatic of a man that I married I would not be the person that I am today. I am glad for the huge differences between us, I wouldn't want an easy marriage. I don't know what kind of person I would be but I know I would certainly not be as close to where I want to be and because of that I am so thankful for a marriage and for a man that pushes me to my limits.
In some ways his drive is absolutely wonderful and as many of you can probably attest, it can also be a huge pain in the rear, exasperating, and downright obnoxious. Trying to align myself to someone who is so beyond my level of functioning is seemingly impossible at times. We are so different. We reason differently so when we have a disagreement about something it takes quite a while for us to "meet in the middle" because we are just trying to understand each other's reasoning. Brad functions in his own sphere and it's like pulling teeth to get him to see things from my point of view because to him everything has to be logical. However, I have come to understand and respect the idea that not all logic is created equal and just because it makes perfect logical sense in my head does not mean it does in someone else's. Brad would not agree with that statement but nevertheless I stand by it, and I hope to live by it.
My marriage is freaking hard work. That is no lie; BUT and there is a huge BUT =) I have an appreciation that knows no bounds for Brad and for the differences that we have that seem insurmountable at times. They are not insurmountable though. In the 7+ years that we have been married we have climbed mountains and there is a companionship here that I want never to be parted from. Marriage is certainly not about being in love or simply "living together". If you want the most out of it, it is about growing together and it is the sweat and tears that plunge us into the refiner's fire so that we can emerge steadfast and immovable in our committment to our spouse and to our God most of all. In short, were it not for that obnoxiously driven fanatic of a man that I married I would not be the person that I am today. I am glad for the huge differences between us, I wouldn't want an easy marriage. I don't know what kind of person I would be but I know I would certainly not be as close to where I want to be and because of that I am so thankful for a marriage and for a man that pushes me to my limits.
Comments
Post a Comment